loneliness is such a sad affair
The bay area is quite the curious place. Where else can you have these random nights in the middle of August, whereupon leaving a club/show and go to your car can you see your breath and perhaps ice on your windshield? Or days like today in the middle of February where people shop in tank tops and smell of sun lotion? Here and only here I suppose. Come Monday I am guessing I may be huddling for warmth under the blankets at night, but for today it is strangely warm.
Three day weekend=much needed respite. Or much deserved one. Work actually has settled down and for whatever reason for the moment I seem to be the golden one, with a magic touch. And it happened right on the cusp of one co worker being laid off and another fired. So lucky for me. Lucky...not a word I am used to at all. Other than in association with bad.
Yet I am all sort of restless and angsty and alone. Damn you Valentine's Day for reminding me of this. At least now I suppose I have a break until my Birthday returns when I outright hate a date on the calendar with a vengeance and the urge to cry myself silly is met with my refusal to do so.
I cried more than I like to admit this week. More than I would normally allow. This horrible annoying ache will not go away. I need to hurry up and focus all of my energy again on something random to make it stop. Or distract me.
What do you do when something is so deep under your skin despite yourself?
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